i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Randomize
