the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
