Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
