And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
