Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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