chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
