Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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