youre lurking in front of me
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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