I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
