PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
