You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Is Oprah even human
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
