so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
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I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
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He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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