My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
whose parrot is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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