Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
worst night to have a conscience
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
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He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
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His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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