i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
