is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
We got so high we made milksteak
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
