i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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