Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
