I wanna bring you to show and tell
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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