So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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