i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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