There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
