Her vagina should come with caution tape.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
