thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
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