i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
