Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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