I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize