A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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