You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
