I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
