When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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