i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
