oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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