And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
i now understand why vodka
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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