you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
