I wannas sexs uuuuu
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
