I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
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I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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