the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
