My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
