So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
