Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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