Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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