So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
