I bet he comes in French.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize