I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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