I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I woke up under a house in Key West
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