You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
