is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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