So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
