it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
