Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize