just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Randomize
