My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
