I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
