hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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