how hairy? two words: wookie tits
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
